At the Pearly Gates
Angel at Podium: Next!
The line moves up. A man steps forward.
John: Hi there.
Angel * referring to a large book *: Jonathon Robert Curtis, born May 1st, 1982 in Dallas, Texas. Is all of that correct?
John: Sounds right to me.
Angel: It says here that you died while saving both orphans and puppies from a burning building. How noble.
John * shrugs *: The fire department was taking too long to get there.
Angel: You pray regularly for others, you attend church most Sundays, and your infringements on the Ten Commandments only amount to occasionally swearing, ‘God dammit.’ Overall, you’ve lived a very good, albeit too short life. Everything appears to be in order…
John: Great! I can’t wait to get in there! I mean, you always wonder who you would want to meet in Heaven and…
Angel: Woah woah woah. Slow it down there, cowboy. We haven’t even checked your Facebook yet. [Keep Reading]